Sidaki

Thursday, October 27, 2005

NO BEEF, NO CHICKEN, NO IDIOTS

A major irritant to the Brits in the last few months has been their cousins across the Atlantic. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the British decided to help out by sending a little food aid to the world's most powerfull country (militarily, which is all that matters really).
The Yanks refused. They had a problem with British beef. Mad Cow. FYI Mad cow is something that happens to cows when you force them to become canibalisitc. The condition can be passed on to humans who ingest the infected meat and so the Americans refused the food because it contained some canned beef. Makes you wonder why the Brits didn't elect to send chicken or fish. Unless they were also trying to get rid of some old beef that even Mugabe had refused.

Anyway, the waters receded and the troubled relations between the two countries returned to a more balanced norm. By this I mean the top dogs maintained the appearance of being the best of friends while the British public accused George Bush of being a tyrant and a despot and the American public lauded Tony Blair as the next best thing after the remote control.

Then the parrot died. The said parrot was in Britain and it died of a disease the boffins(Oxfordians, Cambridgeans, etc) refer to as avian flu strain HN51. What we normal folks have been calling bird flu.

With that, the latest addition to the restricted list of items from Britain to the US was all poultry and poultry products. The British farmers are currently gnashing their teeth and telling their MP's that Zimbabwe will probably be in dire need of chicken in the next few months.

You would have thought the Americans were through editing their list but no, they have added an item.

So, no Mad cows, chicken with the flu and no Chris Murungaru.

Put like that you quickly realise that Chris is in good company. I mean, with the deranged cows and sneezing poultry.

FYIChris is the cretin with the glandular problem. The guy who sweats through three shirts every press conference.

When asked why they did it, the Yanks also supplied a list of reasons they would ban someone from their country and asked us to pick the most likely one where Chris is concerned.

They were
- if a person perfoms actions that could have adverse effects on the stability of democratic institutions and nations and undermining US assistance goals.

- if a person commited, participated in or are beneficiaries of corruption in the performance of public functions

So there! He must have done one of the above or both

I need you to understand something, I am not Murungaru's greatest fan. Hell, I am not a fan at all. I also am not one of these mental midgets clamouring at the US asking for exact reasons why they would ban our beloved minister from going to watch the super bowl or catching the playoffs.

But.

I hate to be the devil's advocate

But

Something that does not sit right with me. It may be that instinctual mistrust of white people but.... still, there's something not right.

Many of you reading this may recall, with malicious glee, the corrosive speeches made by Edward Clay. We loved that man didn't we? I mean, he stuck it to the government where it hurt most. Really gave it to them. And with a shaky voice he proclaimed that he was doing this for the Kenyan people. I must confess that my eyes were watery and that I stood up in the sitting and applauded the man. All that for us? My, what sacrifice!

But.

When the High Commisioner was asked, by an enraged and very constipated Ali Makwere, to substantiate his claims he waved aroung making genralising commments like 'it is known...' etc,etc. We let it pass though, it was good comedy.

But.

We know Murungaru wasn't that much before he joined politics. We know this. We know he owned a couple of insurance companies whose books remarkably returned to the black on his joining government. We know he is corrupt. We know this. How?

Kenyan politician = corrupt
Murungaru = Kenyan politician

Therefore

Murungaru = corrupt

Q.E.D.

It's called logic. It was invented a while back by some bored greek.

So, the man is corrupt. Tell us something we don't know. They are ALL corrupt. Logic dictates that Chris must have done something to piss them off. And since it wasn't corruption, or they would all be banned, it must have been

- if a person perfoms actions that could have adverse effects on the stability of democratic institutions and nations and undermining US assistance goals.


In other words, if the US are trying to help you, like they helped the Iraqis, you musn't interfere. They will help you wether you like it or not.

Basically, what I am trying to say is, Chris is corrupt, no doubt. But so are a the rest. Remember this all started when he was still posted at the Ministry of Internal Security.

And this is why I will not blindly trust the motives of the US and British governments.

Having said that, I can't deny that I enjoy seeing the big man sweat.

6 Comments:

  • LOL! Spot on my guy! Spot on! I for one can categorically say that I am banning Murungaru from ever visiting my crib!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:08 AM  

  • Chrenyan here. I have enjoyed your posts. The humour! Original stuff.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:46 AM  

  • Lovely post, I rather enjoy watching the poor man sweat, huff and puff all over the place especially after he was declared persona non grata.
    Must admit though that it is not dignified at all to sue someone for not wanting to endure your presence in their country.

    By Blogger Prousette, at 4:15 AM  

  • LOL

    No beef, No chicken, No idiots!

    ROTFLMAO


    -----
    Ni2

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:55 AM  

  • Sidaki - my first time visiting your blog and I love what I see. Very spot on on the analysis there - especially about the US and their quid pro quo - and non-inteference policies.

    Oh and the bird flu, and the beef with the beef LOL

    Very nice post

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:45 PM  

  • What a category to stick poor murungaru heheheheh I'm thinking in which category to stick coz u are way too funy!

    By Blogger Farmgal, at 3:50 PM  

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