New Year.

The year ended and another began. Big deal. Another year of failed resolutions and heartbreak. Another year of watching my best laid plans get laid to waste. Another year. So forgive me if you didn’t see me at a bar near you counting down the end of last year like some naïve teenager who actually believes that a change of date has any significance.

What is it about people that they can attach so much to something as arbitrary as a change of date? Remember the Millennium fiasco? Forget even the Y2K thing. I’m talking about those religious goombahs who actually felt that there was something cosmic about us moving into the year 2000, which, I might add, was the last year of that millennium and not the beginning of this one.

Anyway, maybe this year I will get my act right and stop FUCKING AROUND. Oops, was that a resolution? No more fucking around, both metaphorically and literally. Those ladies can go screw themselves (Pun intended). I’m not wasting another iota of my time trying to appease the fragile ego of some self deluded person who thinks that the only way to improve their self esteem is to try and bring mine down.

No more workplace non-sense. If you do not like someone, go and tell them. Do NOT come trotting to me with sob stories every time so and so refuses to return the stapler they borrowed. Go and take it up with THEM. And if the manager has stolen your lady, tough luck, I can’t help you. You shouldn’t have started any shit at work anyway, it never ends well.

If you owe me money, keep it. I’m tired of feeling like a beggar while asking for MY money back. Just don’t expect me to sympathize next time you come around talking about nappies, medicine, rent, the wife and etcetera. I will NOT care.

I am not going to laugh at your jokes if they aren’t funny. Who cares if you think I am a snob? Your jokes are offensive and when they aren’t, they seem to be the product of an overworked toddler’s brain. If you lack the intelligence to understand my jokes, don’t be asking me to explain. Figure it out, you will get it eventually. If you don’t, you were probably the butt.

And to the few people who actually read this site, expect some changes.